Many people ask me how I know about the goings on down in Hollow World. They say “How do you know what’s going on down in Hollow World?”. This question is a great one and I always answer the same way, simply and honestly.

I know about what’s happening in Hollow World through remote viewing and telepathically communicating with rebel Cranial contacts, I have made, deep within the Cranial ranks, who are afraid to flee Hollow World for fear that the Head Cranials will activate safety protocol 3HE-X and neutralize any Cranial turncoat dissenters.

This inevitably leads to me being asked “What is safety protocol 3HE-X?”.

Great question!

Safety Protocal 3HE-X is a conial implant all Cranials are fashioned with which can be remotely detonated in case one of the Cranials gets any bright ideas about leaving the Cranial Club and revolting against the Conarchy.

The 3HE-X is basically a 9-volt battery with an M-80 attached to it, along with a detonator, then secured in a latex cocoon and installed in the lower brain area of every Cranial.

If exploded, the damage will totally scramble up to a third of the Crainal’s massive brain. This won’t kill the Crainal, but it will turn him into a zombified-drone-head, and he’ll be put to work at one of several Hollow World plantations, forced to slave away in the Squaccoli (highly nutritious hybrid squash/broccoli) fields.

Once I’ve explained all of this, I can see in the eyes of the person asking the questions that yet another question is forming and it’s about to be verbalized. I head them off and say “What does baked Squaccoli taste like?”. Then they say “Um, no, actually how did you initiate contact with the rebel Cranials in the first place?”.

This question is fantastic! But the answer is so long and complicated, that I’ll have to save it for another time.

What I really wanted to discuss is the drought here in California and how it’s affecting not just us humans, but also the Cranials deep within Hollow World. In fact as our reservoirs dry up and our water table drops; our croplands turn to dust and our forests catch fire – from something as fun and simple as the static electricity produced from rubbing a ballon on our heads – Hollow World is also experiencing a severe drought.

As our pools can dramatically lose up to two full inches from their maximum water capacity level; forcing us to walk up to a full foot further down into the deep end to experience the relaxation of full boyoncy, the Cranials are experiencing something even more horrific than nearly full pools.

Their Cranial bones are shrinking.

This is why we have been seeing so many UFOS lately. As many people don’t know, the Cranials have the ability to travel through time but only into the past. The UFOS we have been seeing are actually the Cranials from our future.

However, this line of thinking begs the question “Aren’t the captains of these UFO ships gray aliens creatively known as the Grays?”.

Beings with small thin bones, large skulls, large almond-shaped eyes, and the ability to probe any human orifice and of course their distinctive gray flesh skin. This doesn’t sound like the Cranials at all.

This is what the Cranials WILL LOOK LIKE in the future, if this drought continues. Their bones will shrink, their wonderful skin will turn grey, and their heads will be 10 percent smaller.

They are traveling from the future to gather their past genetics and combine them with ours to create a hybrid race that can live in a future desert world, where there is only one postman that delivers mail on a horse. Or whatever a future horse will look like. Here’s an artist rendering:

Basically, if we want these UFO abductions to stop, we need to put an end to our over consumption of water. The Cranials are desperate and will do anything to survive.

But I digress, I was speaking of California and why this drought, in this peticular state, is so detrimental to the Cranials.

The San Andreas fault is a major fault line that runs the length of California and is the cause of many of its famous yet devastating earth quakes. Geologists have been trying to create a machine that can better predict these quakes, so as to give ample warning and save lives. What these dumb old stupid geologists just don’t seem to get though, is that these earth quakes aren’t natural, they’re Cranial made.

Geoengineered by super smart Cranial scientists, for one reason: California is home to a major Hollow World entrance.

As the tectonic plates attempt to open this entrance and expose the Cranial realm, the geoengineered Cranial quakes are used to close up the entrance. However, since the Cranials get their water from these open passage ways, they use their quake machine very rarely (another reason California hasn’t had a major quake in over 20 years).

This is what we call a “catch 22″. The drought is exposing Hollow World entrances, but the Cranials can’t activate the Quake-O-Maker machine yet, because they need the water.

My sources tell me that one of the entrances lies at the bottom of a Northern California lake called Lake Tahoe. There also may be smaller entrances in lakes surrounding this “Lake Tahoe”, that may be less secure than the major entrance, which apparently is protected by a lockness-type, hybrid-aquatic-dragon named Tahoe Tessie.

The lack of rainwater and this continued drought is exposing these hidden Hollow World doors. Not to mention that Hollow World gets its drinking water from the surface runoff. No water upstairs means no water downstairs. The Cranials are under mandatory water restrictions, which means they can’t drink as much water. This dehydration is leading to a 10 percent reduction in Cranial skull bones.

That’s where the concern lies.

The Cranials get their wisdom and super intelligence from these massive brains. A ten percent reduction in brain mass, due to dehydration, means they are less smarter than they were from before, and as we all know, dumb people are dangerous.

The Cranials aren’t used to being dumbed down, so they may react very aggressively when they wake up one morning and instead of wanting to enslave humans and force them to work in factories making iPhone tablets for the elite, they’d rather just lay on the couch and watch Maury and eat a value pack of potato chips.

This could include but is not limited to: Lay’s original baked potato chips, Sunchips, Cheetos, Fritos, Doritos (both cool ranch and smokin’cheddar BBQ), and of course Chex Mix.

Then, after spending hours watching DNA test results and commercials for auto insurance, the smart part of their brains may suddenly feel guilty for lazing around all day. They might overreact to the relization that they’re acting like fat lazy morons and out of frustration, hastily turn the Quake-O-Maker up to 11teen, a very high number in Cranial mathematics.

This could set off a devastating quake that would kill everyone in Califoria or worse.

So this enviably leads to the major big question on the tips of everyone’s minds:

“Can a Viagra-type drug be created to stimulate Cranial brain bones into growing back to their original size of 100%, and simultaneously relieve the Cranials of the acid reflux they’re suffering from, caused by the stress and frustration of being dumber, due to dehydration as a result of less underground water moisture, exacerbated by the California drought?”.

Yes, and I already got to work in my lab creating it and its done.

I call it Erectums and now I need to get it to the Cranials. This is easier said than done, obviously. This will require me and my team to venture up to this Lake Tahoe, and use our entrance finder rod to locate the Hollow World door. Of course a logical question would be: “But how can you get the Erectums to the Cranials, if the door in this Lake Tahoe is protected by a fierce water dragon?”.

Well, the answer is, this water dragon doesn’t look fierce at all…